No New Kids…No, No, No.

Children are clearly not for everyone. Whether you learn this when you’re young or when you’re older– when you know, you just know. I’ve always had a feeling that I didn’t want kids ever since my little brother was first brought home from the hospital when I was 5-years-old. Don’t get me wrong, I love my brother dearly, but changing diapers, waking up at 2 AM for feedings, and dealing with constant crying isn’t my metaphorical cup of tea.

Despite there being a legitimate catalog of reasons to never have kids in my mind, for this article, I’ve narrowed them down to my top 5:

• Sex – I can’t speak for anyone else, but my sex life is my world. When I’m not doing it, it’s pretty much all I’m thinking about doing. With that being said, for most people, once kids are introduced into their relationship, sex stops (or at the very least slows way down). I don’t know about you, but I literally can’t even.
• Sleep – Believe it or not, even at 26-years-old, afternoon naps are the reason I live. As a matter of fact, I just woke up. So, given the fact that I’m sleeping at night and most of the day (unless I’m doing the aforementioned activity listed above), when am I going to have time to take care of another living being?
• Money – It’s no secret, kids are expensive. Even raising kids on generic cereals and Payless Shoes can get pricey when you look at it over an 18+ year timeframe–not to mention college tuition, braces, or any other unforeseen situations that may arise. And what do you get in return? The laughter and joy of a child? I’ll pass.
• Friends – By now, I’m sure the majority of us have friends who have kids. So, you most likely know that they are literally the worst people to be around. From the constant Facebook pictures and updates about their kid’s first potty trained poop, to going out with them and dealing with them constantly having to call home every two minutes to check if their kids are still breathing. (Newsflash, they still are.) Everything that “friends with kids” do is utterly obnoxious. You don’t want to become that, do you?
• No Responsibility – At this stage in my life, my days are pretty much focused on me. When I want something to eat, I go get it. When I want to watch TV, I watch it. When I want to pass out after a few shots of Fireball…well, you get the picture. But, once children come on the scene, your life revolves solely around them. There is no more “you time,” which seems more and more depressing when I think about it.

Ultimately, whatever the reason, the choice is yours. Whether or not you have kids is up to you and only you. Do not let anyone (friends, family, or society) pressure you into bringing a life into this world if you wholeheartedly know that it’s not the path you want to take in life. Having a child is not just an 18 year commitment, but a life commitment. So, if you’re not ready for kids, don’t try to force it in the hopes that it will all “work itself out” in the future.

Behind The Times: A Local Suburb’s Struggle Towards Equality 

“[When I got to SPSU] I didn’t really have a support base…so I felt I should make that happen,” stated Zainab Shekoni when asked why she decided to take the position of President of the Gay Lesbian Straight Alliance (GLSA) at Southern Polytechnic State University in Marietta, Georgia.

Click Behind The Times to finish reading article.

That’s What Makes You Beautiful

Hands down, confidence is key.

Confidence is everything, which is why its mentioned at the beginning of this post. Being confident can take you from being a “5” to a “10” when used in the right way. Carrying yourself like you’re actually worthy of being alive is one of the most attractive traits anyone can have.

Next up is intelligence. We need to be able to have a conversation eventually. I mean, sex is important but during that whole “recuperation period” as bodily fluids are replenishing themselves, we need to be able to talk about more than how the colors blue and yellow make green.  

Eye contact. (Look at me and be attentive…simple enough.)

Having a sense of humor. (This is something that doesn’t seem to need much explanation.)

And lastly, smiling. Having a nice smile is really important to me. Not only does it give me insight to your dental hygiene, but it also lets me know more about what kind of personality you have. Creepy smile = Creepy person. (Google: “Gary Busey”…s’all I’m saying.) 

So, this is my list. Sexiness really varies from person to person, so figure out what it means to you, then use that to go out and find the person that makes you feel all giddy inside. 🙂

Sex…And The Reason You Should.

Sex (n.) – the reason I still believe that there may be a God out there somewhere.

For most parents (and kids), having “the talk” is one of the most life changing experiences they will go through together, and not in a good way. Having to explain to a pubescent child about how to do something they most likely already know more about than you do is probably not the “easiest task” in the world, yet it is a tradition parents continue throughout the generations.

Growing up though, my household was a tad bit different…

I still remember the day I got “the talk.” It was May 17, 2002 and I’d just got finished doing my 8th grade graduation rehearsal. And in the car on the way back home “it” happened.

“You’re 13 now, so I’m sure I’m not letting you know anything you haven’t already heard about,” is how the conversation started. To which I replied, “You don’t even know,” with a slight grin. And so it began…

Sex has never really been a “taboo” subject in my house growing up. Everyone spoke openly and honestly about it–it was no big deal. And because it was no big deal, it allowed me to become an open and honest adult without the fear and stigma most people attach to something we are clearly all doing in one way or another.

I’d like to think that I am a sex advocate. With that being said though, I am not (and I repeat, AM NOT) promoting “whorism” in any way, because that’s gross. I’m simply stating that if you are in a serious, committed relationship and/or you feel comfortable with whom you are about to “do the do,” then by all means…break the headboard in.

Now, I feel it would be completely irresponsible of me to not at least mention practicing safe sex. As my friends and family know, no one is more paranoid about STD’s than I am. So, I feel it’s only right that I should tell you all to use condoms and use them properly EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. No excuses. If you or your partner don’t have any, cancel the performance for that night. Shit’s not worth it, which is why I said to only do it with someone you’re 150% comfortable with.

But, other than that, go out…be free. Sex is one of the most beautiful, personal and intimate acts you will ever be a part of, and you shouldn’t be afraid to do (or talk) about it. Obviously people are doing it because YOU’RE ALIVE. So, I really think people need to lose that whole “after school special” mentality and get over themselves because, by pretending sex doesn’t exist, you’re honestly missing out on one of the best parts of life.

In conclusion, I’ll leave you with this quote from Christopher “Ludacris” Bridges, “Some say that sex is overrated, but they just ain’t doin’ it right.”

Relationship No-no’s

At the moment, I am kind of single/kind of not. It really just depends on the day and the mood I’m in (just kidding)–but there are a few things that absolutely freak me out about being in a serious committed relationship…and I’m sure they freak everyone else out as well. These are situations that I would not hesitate to end a relationship over.

The first thing that absolutely scares me when being in a relationship is being with someone who is overly-attached and borderline cuckoo batsh*t. This frightens me to death, because there are never really any warning signs to tell you when you’re dating someone crazy beforehand–you just come home one day, and there’s a random animal head in your bed and all the hair from your brush missing. (LOOOONG story, my friends.)

The second thing that bothers me is being told what to do. Now, I am 24 years old. To some, 24 is still a considered to be a young kid. But in my mind (and according to the law), I am an adult. And as a full grown adult, I absolutely refuse to be dictated to, no matter WHO you are. I feel as though if I am paying my own rent, my own car, and my own cell phone bill–I can come home when I feel like it, leave when I want to, and call who I please as MUCH as I please. And I don’t need someone who is going to go all Kim Jong-un just becasue I didn’t reply to a text you sent within the first 20 seconds of you sending it.

Lastly, there is lying. I can’t stand liars…of any type…for any reason. I feel like there is absolutely no reason to lie to anyone about anything, especially if its to someone you’ve decided to be with. The prime example of this is, if you’re in a relationship that you no longer wish to be in, why not just end it instead of cheating but continuing the charade of being faithful? If you’re not happy with who you’re with, just be honest and GO. Clearly the relationship is already over either way, so why waste the other person’s time? There’s no purpose to it.

Now, I have had to deal with all of these situations in the past (plus some other situations I dare not get into right now), which is one of the main reasons my phone number changes every 5-6 months. There are things that I just refuse to deal with. Life is entirely too short to put up with things you really don’t have to. And believe me, I have absolutely no shame in sending a breakup text message if I really don’t want to deal with you face-to-face.

Let’s Re-Domesticate America

Remember these?

I like to cook. Well, I wouldn’t say “like,” but I don’t really have an issue with it. To be honest, the clean-up afterwards is the only negative part to the whole situation. I just think that people gripe and moan entirely too much for this to be as simple as it is. With most foods being pre-packaged and/or pre-cooked these days, people should really stop with the whole martyr routine whenever they have to stay home and eat. There’s no need to put on a full “Joan of Arc” style production just because you have to heat up water to boil rice for like 15 minutes. It’s not that serious.

There is very little thought that needs to go into this. So, if you can’t manage to mix milk and flour together and throw it in the oven, then maybe you don’t deserve to eat in the first place.

Personally, I have an apartment and I go to school full-time–my place is never trashed, everything stays in order, and I still find the time and energy to feed myself without all of the unnecessary rigmarole. Honestly, what is the big deal? God forbid there’s a natural disaster and you can’t readily run to the Cheesecake Factory whenever you feel like it. I really just think it’s time that Americans reclaim some very basic skills that have been lost over the last few decades–and stop acting likes victims just because you have to wait 10 minutes for your microwavable bag of Steamfresh vegetables to cook.

Reasons Macklemore Should Be President:

* First and foremost, any guy with enough confidence to go into a barber shop and request that haircut obviously doesn’t give a flying f**k about what you think. And I respect that.

* He’s not afraid to take a stand on controversial issues and stick to it. (Just read this email.)

* He shops at thrift stores, so I’m sure he’s economical.

* Who else can pull off wearing a tie-dye tank top and a fur coat in the summer time? No one, that’s who. He doesn’t follow trends, which is what we need in a leader.

* He has a sense of humor, yet he can get insanely serious when it’s time to. (Listen to his song “Otherside.”)

* He obviously has a loyal following. I mean, look…the guy got a nipple tat.

*Because this happened…

* And finally, because Ryan Lewis would be a bomb-ass V.P.

MTV – M = WTF?

MTV has been around since the early 80’s–and what a glorious time that was. Wild parties, good friends, and plenty lines of coca–uhh…Coca Cola drinking. (Yep, lines and lines of pure Columbian Coca Cola drinking.)

Anyway, at the time, MTV was in a lane of its own as the first and ONLY 24-hour music channel on the air. Exclusive music videos would be sent to MTV before they were sent anywhere else, and viewers gravitated to it like moths to a flame.

And then, slowly but surely, live music programs (MTV: Spring Break, Yo! MTV Raps, etc.) began to come, followed by one of the best reality shows of all time–The Real World. But it wasn’t until the late 2000’s that MTV decided to completely flip the script and lose its ever-loving mind.

As of 2013, gone are the days of tuning in to hear your favorite songs being played…or ANY songs for that matter. (God forbid that the Music Television actually played some frickin’ MUSIC these days.) If you turn to MTV now, the only thing you’re liable to see is a group of Italians having sex in a jacuzzi that has a questionable pH balance.

Again, as I stated in one of my previous posts, I understand corporations’ obsession with reality shows. They’re cheap to make, there are no writers needed, and no actors to screen, but seriously? How is there NO music on MTV any more? Isn’t anyone else outraged?!

The Politics of Social Media

Photo: Courtesy of Funny Pictures Blog

Double standards irk the living bejesus out of me, and recently (thanks to a friend) I have been noticing them more and more. It’s no secret that society has a set of rules that are held to some and another set for others, and this can’t be made more apparent than on Facebook.

Over the last couple weeks, I’ve noticed that there are guidelines for different people as to what is acceptable and unacceptable when it comes to Facebook. Some people can get away with a lot, while others, not so much.

Recently, I have seen two people post the EXACT same status update (literally, copy-and-paste). Yet, the same message was applauded (or “liked”) on one person’s page and criticized or outright ignored on the other.

There are also differences with guys and girls on Facebook. Girls on Facebook can pretty much do or say anything and everyone in the known free-world will come to a halt to see what it’s about. While guys can make a post from their hospital bed about being shot by wildlife poachers during a safari gone awry—and no one pays attention.

Double standards have always been a problem in the world, but it wasn’t until a month ago, when someone said that I updated my statuses too frequently, that I got pissed. Not because of what was said, but because I noticed that this person and I share a mutual friend who updates their status every 30 minutes, ALL DAY LONG. Seriously, from 11 in the morning until about 1 the NEXT morning, there are constant updates and pictures of babies being posted. Yet, the person who told me that I update too much has nothing to say about this other person.

I have been on both sides of this situation (praised and ignored), but I’m still confused as to why it happens in the first place. Why do we accept things from some but punish others for it? Is it more of the person we like/dislike which determines how we interpret the message? Because if it is, that’s a whole other can of worms for a different blog post. But, without inserting “politics” into this, I’ve always had the mindset of everyone being the same–therefore, needing to be treated the same. But apparently, society (and the internet) doesn’t think so. Or maybe it’s just me making something out of nothing. (I do that from time to time.)

Cory and Topanga are STILL together. Jelly, haters?

If you know me, have been around me, or have any inclination of who I am, then you are well aware that Boy Meets World is my favorite show of all time. Seriously, even though I have the complete DVD box set, I still make sure to watch every episode that airs on ABC Family each day. (Yeah, it’s THAT serious.)

Now, for those of you who don’t know what Boy Meets World is about, first of all, you had a horrible childhood. Let that just be known right now. But anyway, basically the show follows a kid by the name of Cory Matthews, as he navigates life with his best friend, Shawn, and his longtime girlfriend, Topanga.

Many have criticized the show’s “lack of realism” and it’s “after-school special” approaches to many situations, but to that I say NERTS! Any kid of the 90’s will emphatically let you know that B.M.W. was television gold in its purest form.

So I, being one of the show’s most avid fans, was shocked to learn that the Disney Channel was going to remake the show and it will be airing later on this year. Stories about a possible reunion have been going around for the last 2 years, but I heard the “official” story of this particular remake around late September…and I have been in full-fledge P.I. mode ever since.

At first I was a little leery of the show’s remake because, let’s face it, the Disney Channel sure knows how to ruin a show. I was afraid that the remake was going to be hella cheesy (like “Cheesecake Factory” cheesy) so I kind of didn’t want it to happen at first. But once I had some time to compose my emotions, I realized that this is one of the best ideas to come through my TV in a while.

The remake is going to be called “Girl Meets World” (original, right?)–and it is supposedly going to have the same premise of B.M.W., but through the eyes of Cory and Topanga’s daughter. Now, I know it’s not going to be the exact same as the original, and I’m fine with that, but I’m just praying to the Disney gods (and to Michael Eisner), PLEASE do not ruin this show for me. My entire childhood is wrapped up in this storyline, and if you ruin it, I swear to Jesus–you don’t even know.

P.S. – There is talk about Mr. Feeny either not being on the show or coming during the first season but dying off in an hour long special. I already had a hard enough time dealing with Mr. Turner’s (assumed) death. So, if you do this, I will personally make a trip to Disney Channel headquarters, and things will get all sorts of real. (Leave. Feeny. Alone.)